Tangled Thoughts

Suffering?

Christina

May 31, 2012

Lately I have been confronted by the fact that I take advantage of time. Its something I have been thinking about for a while, but have always shoved it to the back of my mind out of fear. Fear of what? Fear that once I admit that I have been taking advantage of time – that once I admit that time is limited here on this earth, that my world will be shaken up. You know, just to prove the point that yea, time is precious.

But here I am.

Time.

It comes and goes. Every morning the sun rises (if you happen to be in a warm climate, here its more like the rain rises, but I digress) and sets. Every day. And me? I get used to this fact. I get settled into my little routine. The one where I argue at the alarm clock before getting out of bed and heading to the shop to deal with the worlds best yet most annoying customers. I get settled into my routine that when I wake up – my people I love will still be there. Happy, sad, or mad. They will be there. And I get used to this.

Sure. I know that things happen. But those things, they don’t happen to me. I have LOTS of time! I am (relatively) young! Right? Time. It shouldn’t concern me. Yet that thought is always there. At the back of my mind.

I avoid hot button topics like “The end of the world” and “What if…” and dance through life enjoying as much as I can, wishing the sun would shine more.

But that thought. Its there. Always. Constantly. Quietly. It reminds me. That time? Is NOT a sure thing.

Infact, Time is a vapor.

“Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” – James 4:14

And so lately I have been thinking about this. And while I really cant say it has changed my attitude, I have began to realize something.

Last week at Bible Study the topic was on “Suffering for your Faith.” And to be honest, I could not think of a single time that I had actually suffered. Oh sure, Im like everyone else “Woah is me. Life is hard!” And Im not saying its not, Im saying that I have never suffered, for what REALLY matters. And it hit me – how many times do I go OUT of my way to avoid confrontation with someone over my faith? How many times would I rather not “Talk” about religion or God, or something else that is really important? How many times have I wished that seat on the plane next to me is empty – because I really don’t feel like getting into an uncomfortable conversation with someone?

This life? Is so short. What is a little suffering? What is a little pain? And really? What is this world if I am dancing around like I am untouchable, while being worried about someone questioning my faith.

Ouch.

Time is not promised to us. Life is so very short, and it is hard enough (and really pointless enough!) without taking the one thing worth living for out of it.

I often think it would be so awesome to go on a Missions Trip again, but then I stop. And think. And realize something. If I cant even share my faith, my God with people in my own language? People I know? Then HOW am I going to go somewhere I don’t know, to people I don’t know, with a language I don’t know – and expect to do ANY bit of good. It starts here. In my town. In my backyard. In my own heart. Really…its time, to start “suffering” for what really matters.

You Capture: Moving

Christina

4 comments

May 28, 2012

I spent all week thinking this weeks theme was “Still.” Turns out the theme was “Moving.” Not MY best move! I stuck my memory card in the computer and realized I took less than 10 pictures these past two weeks. Again, not my best move! *Heres to taking more pictures!*

After an afternoon of being tied to the dock – they finally got the boat MOVING and we went fishing. YAY for leaving the island!

Moving water

Moving Puppy (shes always on the move!)

I found this picture funny – they are both moving exactly the same way.

The Day the Internet Left

Capn Manda

1 comment

May 18, 2012

Hello World!

This blog post is to commemorate my re-entrance to the world of the internet. The internet service went out here one week ago today, and just came back on last night. I couldn’t really be more excited. It’s amazing how much you miss the net when it’s gone, because when it’s gone, it seems everything is.

Here is a list of things I couldn’t do this week.

Talk to Mom and Chir!

Order things

Look up postcodes -those letters aren’t going to mail themselves

Look up random urgent info, like “what year was Edward the second king” and ”do bluebells last a long time in water”

Watch Netflix

Watch you tubes! Silly things like sesame street parodies, but also how to install parts on bikes, David couldn’t find out how to fix the bikes he’s trying to work on here

Listen to sermons

And of course BLOG! I couldn’t even write this post.

This was pretty much me and David this week

It was quite a week. Our best idea for internet in this situation consisted of hooking up David’s smart phone for 3G service. That worked great! Until the phone provider shut him off without warning because he was using too much data. Then we put my phone’s sim card into Davids phone and used that to tether the phone to the computer, that only lasted about 2 hours though, and then my phone shut off saying we had used up all my credit. Our next idea was to go up the hill to Nan’s house, so off we went. Sure enough, she had internet, yay! We were happy to find out that there was still hope yet for us, at least the whole world hadn’t come unplugged. I also spent an afternoon in a coffee shop, drinking cappuccinos and chatting to mom and Chir, it was great fun, except when they closed, and I realized I had no place to go. Sure I could head back home to the Oaks, but to a place with no internet? No one wants to be caught in a dead zone.

Every time I ran into David H who helps run The Oaks -where we live, he would ask ”How are you?” I would respond “fine” all the while thinking, “Well that depends… “Have the internets come back yet?” One day after the other passed, each day, more than once a day,we would hook up the ethernet cable, and attempt to connect to the net, all without any success. It’s funny the things you realize you need when you don’t have internet. I suddenly needed all sorts of information, train times, weather, addresses for my thank you cards, even a recipe for Oreo cheesecake cookies; it was all there on the net -the net that I couldn’t reach.

Then finally, Thursday came. It had nearly been one week with no net. We were on our way off to Nan’s house to borrow her unlimited wifi, when we spotted a Virgin Media van parked at the bottom of our hill. A man was busy working on a box of cables. “THAT must be THE box!” I said. “They might be there fixing our internet!”

We went to Nan’s and borrowed her internet there, then it was 10:00 before we knew it. When we got home I checked the internet and it was there. YAY! Internets are back!

So now I’m going to celebrate! Connected to the internet, I’m going to talk to mom and chir. And maybe watch some youtubes too.

“We should ask for some money back from Virgin Media for not having internet for a week.” I told David.

“Well, we don’t pay for internet remember?” David said. “The Oaks does”

“RIGHT…” I said, remembering that this was true.

I still think they should pay us anyways!

Of course I may never know why the internet left last week. Or where it went. But I do know that I am thankful to have it back. Internet, I am glad to have you back, thanks for coming home.

The internet, electricity, and the washing machine are probably my top three favorite modern inventions. What are your favorites?

The bigger picture

Christina

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May 15, 2012

So often, I think…we as humans get caught up in the instant things. Instant food, instant movies, instant anything…snap my fingers here it comes…instant entertainment. Sometimes I think that we tend to think that if something isn’t instant – then its not meant to be. Or it isn’t going to happen. Or its wrong, or maybe, we are doing something wrong. Because hello? I asked for it, got no answer, answer must be no, lets move on.

Ok, so maybe that’s more of my thought process. But maybe someone can sympathize with me in my simple minded thinking.

The thing is, not everything is instant, and not everything, ok, hardly ANYTHING happens in our time. In our plans. On our schedules. As hard as we try to keep things confined to time, things go out of “control” or atleast out of our control. The traffic was too slow, we were a bit late, we missed the opening credits, and now our lives will never be the same because we wont know who played what. But on a bigger level…our simple minded narrow views take on a whole new perspective.

We only see…a very small portion of things. We see us. Maybe our family, and if we are so lucky, perhaps a small part of where we live. We really, have no concept of what is going on around us. We can try to follow the news, but how many times will we know whats going on with THAT person living in THAT corner of the world?

Every so often we get what people refer to as “Woah it’s a small world…gone smaller!” moments where our lives collide with someone elses. Where our story meets up with someone elses. Where our busy schedule smashes against someone elses and suddenly…there we stand. Grasping an oh so small view of what it must be like to see everything at once. From start to finish.

How many times have we wondered “WHAT AM I DOING HERE?” I know I have wondered the same thing, and not just in a “I forgot why I came to this room” sort of moment. More in a…“What is our purpose in this world?” Why. Am I here?

If you really stop to think about it, the fact that YOU are HERE is amazing in an of itself. The fact that I am here. Really is amazing (considering I should really be doing something else – kidding. Mostly). What I mean is the fact that God has chosen to place me, and to place you – where we are, is not by accident.

So many times I wonder if I am in the right place, if I should be doing something else, if I shouldn’t be doing something…bigger. Better. More.

The plain and simple truth is that you are where God has placed you. You are part of a bigger plan. You are part of His plan. His goal. His end result. Even if you cant see it now, even if you never see it. The fact is that you are part of a bigger plan. Yet so often, we get caught up in the “Woah is me I have no point” sagas that we forget to remember:

Our lives? Are not an accident. We are here. For a reason.

Whether or not you choose to see that is a completely different story. Instead of waiting for that big moment, instead of thinking this isn’t good enough…why not realize that where we are, who we are, and what we are – is all part of a plan. A much bigger plan.