Lately I have been confronted by the fact that I take advantage of time. Its something I have been thinking about for a while, but have always shoved it to the back of my mind out of fear. Fear of what? Fear that once I admit that I have been taking advantage of time – that once I admit that time is limited here on this earth, that my world will be shaken up. You know, just to prove the point that yea, time is precious.
But here I am.
It comes and goes. Every morning the sun rises (if you happen to be in a warm climate, here its more like the rain rises, but I digress) and sets. Every day. And me? I get used to this fact. I get settled into my little routine. The one where I argue at the alarm clock before getting out of bed and heading to the shop to deal with the worlds best yet most annoying customers. I get settled into my routine that when I wake up – my people I love will still be there. Happy, sad, or mad. They will be there. And I get used to this.
Sure. I know that things happen. But those things, they don’t happen to me. I have LOTS of time! I am (relatively) young! Right? Time. It shouldn’t concern me. Yet that thought is always there. At the back of my mind.
I avoid hot button topics like “The end of the world” and “What if…” and dance through life enjoying as much as I can, wishing the sun would shine more.
But that thought. Its there. Always. Constantly. Quietly. It reminds me. That time? Is NOT a sure thing.
Infact, Time is a vapor.
“Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” – James 4:14
And so lately I have been thinking about this. And while I really cant say it has changed my attitude, I have began to realize something.
Last week at Bible Study the topic was on “Suffering for your Faith.” And to be honest, I could not think of a single time that I had actually suffered. Oh sure, Im like everyone else “Woah is me. Life is hard!” And Im not saying its not, Im saying that I have never suffered, for what REALLY matters. And it hit me – how many times do I go OUT of my way to avoid confrontation with someone over my faith? How many times would I rather not “Talk” about religion or God, or something else that is really important? How many times have I wished that seat on the plane next to me is empty – because I really don’t feel like getting into an uncomfortable conversation with someone?
This life? Is so short. What is a little suffering? What is a little pain? And really? What is this world if I am dancing around like I am untouchable, while being worried about someone questioning my faith.
Time is not promised to us. Life is so very short, and it is hard enough (and really pointless enough!) without taking the one thing worth living for out of it.
I often think it would be so awesome to go on a Missions Trip again, but then I stop. And think. And realize something. If I cant even share my faith, my God with people in my own language? People I know? Then HOW am I going to go somewhere I don’t know, to people I don’t know, with a language I don’t know – and expect to do ANY bit of good. It starts here. In my town. In my backyard. In my own heart. Really…its time, to start “suffering” for what really matters.