The other week I drug all my boys through the pumpkin patch then out to a corn field with a “Pinterest perfect moment” in mind. It only took the promise of a sucker and feeding the cows to get the oldest one to cooperate (after a chat with daddy behind some bushes). The sun certainly wasn’t in my favor and my camera is almost twenty years old (!!) but I don’t think we did too bad! Sorry boys, it won’t be the last time I drag you out to get pictures!
Six years ago I did something way out of my character and something that everyone tells you not to do. To be fair, I never intended to do it and never would have even dreamed I would have done it, but six years ago, there I was. Doing the very thing: Meeting an internet stranger.
Let me back up.
Continue readingMy little buddy,
This is certainly not how I had expected to ring in your new year. I had a whole day planned for us; balloons on your bedroom floor, waffles for breakfast, your friends were going to be back for the first time in over a month! We’d make cupcakes and of course have chili, your favorite, for supper. I wanted to take a selfie with you as your last night of being one and another in the morning -your first day of being two!!
But little brother got admitted to the hospital and you are spending the night (and next few days) with TT while I am at the hospital with brother. You are living your best life, getting showered with mouse presents and all the TV a little boy could dream of. You won’t be disappointed, because well, you don’t know to expect anything else. After all, you are only two. You are well cared for, spoiled even, and living the life. It’s mama’s heart that is having the hard time tonight.
Continue readingIntroducing baby Hans!
Following in big brother’s footsteps, he decided to come early as well. We went in for a routine ultrasound, after watching baby for awhile, the tech decided to send us for a NST just to make sure everything was ok. He passed everything except wasn’t showing any practice breaths. He had technically passed (he needed a 6/8 to pass and reached that, but she wanted to be thorough and have him checked anyways). We were making plans for our weekend and discussing where to go for lunch and doctor came in to say that he was concerned because his heart rate kept dipping for no apparent reason. We decided to monitor another few hours and see what transpired.
After a few hours of monitoring and more heart dips they decided to admit me overnight for more observations. I think it was about then that we started to realize it was a bit more than a routine checkup.
A few more hours of monitoring and doc came back in to say that he just wasn’t comfortable letting things go. Since there was no apparent reason for his heart rate to be dropping it was most likely an issue with the cord and he said he wouldn’t be sleeping until we came back. Even then he was worried that something would transpire and we would be coming back to no heartbeat at all. We made a few phone calls and consulted with our midwife who also agreed this could potentially be serious and wasn’t something to mess with. Which is how an hour later, we found ourselves with another little boy!
While it wasn’t the way we prayed things would go, we can see God’s hand at work, every step of the way. From the routine ultrasound being THAT day, to the nurse deciding to send him for more testing and not just passing him, to the doctor seeing the dips in the heart rate when that wasn’t even what they were looking for. He had some troubles breathing at first and they thought they might have to send him out to the NICU, but he stabilized. The next morning however, doc came in and said we could either consult with the NICU over the phone or just send him down and let him get the help he needed. So off he went. I wasn’t supposed to be discharged until the following day, but given the circumstances they discharged me early. We drove down to be with him the next day.
He has been kicking butt just like big brother did and discharge looks to be on the horizon, one week later! It’s been a crazy week and is really insane how quickly life can change. Sure, there are a lot of things to process mentally, but I continue to be thankful for the provision and protection over our little guy’s life. I am also continually blown away by the skill of the NICU nurses and all those who make this challenging process less stressful.
Big brother is absolutely in LOVE with little brother. He LOVES him some babies and is so excited to have one of his own. Whenever we came into his room, he would climb in the chair, pat his lap and say “Mine baby!” he loved holding him, rubbing his head and yelling “HI BABY!” whenever he got the chance. He also enjoyed pointing out that baby has eyes.
Somehow, this little monkey turned a whole year old over the weekend…and what a year it has been! I fully expected that having a kid would make me write even more, but somehow it has made me write even less. Perhaps because I am sleep deprived 90% of the time, or busy almost all of the time. Either way, I really hope to come back into this space and write at least once a month.
Watching this little guy grow has been one of the best things I have ever done. Raising him has been one of the hardest. And somehow that seems to sum parenting up. It is the hardest bestest thing I have ever done.
Happy first birthday little man, this year has been just about as wild as you are! Don’t ever underestimate how much your mama and daddy love you. You are one super loved little man. Watching people gush and love on you makes me burst with pride. You are loved, you are loved, you are loved.
Tangled Thoughts 