In many ways, it doesn’t feel like it has been a year. In fact, I have forgot multiple times that it was in fact, our anniversary yesterday. In other ways, however, it feels like it has been more than a year -like what did I possibly do before now? I’ve learned a lot over this past year but the biggest thing I think I have learned is how to let go of expectations. I went into this year thinking I had a decent idea of what to expect and soon realized -I had no clue.
Those expectations I had? Were so far from reality because the reality is? This is so much better than I could have EVER imagined. This isn’t to say there haven’t been moments of learning, because there have been plenty of those: I have learned so slow down. To let things go. To adapt. To readjust. To be present. To prioritize. To communicate.
Andrew’s favorite phrase this year (it would seem) has been “We’ll figure it out.” When he first started to say it, I absolutely hated it. There were so many follow up questions: How would we figure it out? When would we figure it out? How would we know when we figured it out? I need to know and I need to plan! But over this past year I have learned to not only appreciate his phrase, but to use it myself. Because somehow, by the grace of God, we will continue to ‘figure it out.’
A few months ago, I was looking at my work schedule and realized I had a four day weekend coming up, I took the opportunity to book some tickets to make a quick stop in Alaska for the weekend. Fly up Friday, spend Saturday + Sunday then fly back to North Dakota Monday. Perfect. Right? I mean, what could really go wrong with this plan? Obviously, everything, but that isn’t what we are talking about.
That four-day weekend? Was this past weekend. I’m still on it.
The problem started Friday. In order to make my connections, everything has to line up just so. Friday, things did NOT line up just so, and I missed my connecting flight (thanks to delays) by an hour or so. Since I was booked on two different airlines, one pawned me off on the other and they pawned me off on the other. It was a lot of back and forth (walking from two different services centers, because they wouldn’t set up camp next to each other) before I finally managed to get Alaska airlines to put me on the next flight for only a change fee. Something that would have normally cost me in the ballpark of $500 (thanks cheap tickets). I begrudgingly booked a hotel and caught a flight to Alaska the next morning.
I now only had the day there. It was a glorious day. Full of sun (yes, I’m serious!)
A few weeks ago, my husband and I sat on our couch discussing the pending details of our upcoming honeymoon. When we got married, we had agreed to take our honeymoon when I got moved in. After, you know, the chaos of the summer and fall had passed and we were settled in for the long winter. We would go somewhere warm, escape the subzero temperatures and run for the crystal-clear oceans and sandy beaches.
Between starting new jobs and all the holidays, we had sort of forgotten about our upcoming honeymoon and sat piecing together all the details. Mom and dad were coming for Christmas, we would leave for our road trip the day dad flew home. Mom would stay and watch the pets. It was a flawless plan. As most are. As much as I like to consider myself to be a ‘fly by the seat of my pants, spontaneous type’ I do love me a good plan. Seeing how my husband is very much a “enjoy the journey” kind of guy, I had planned much of the trip myself, asking his opinion on certain destinations before finalizing the details.
All was set to be a good time. Christmas came and went.
My big plan was originally to fly to Seattle, spend the night in a hotel then get a connecting flight to Minnesota where I would meet Andrew and we would drive the rest of the way to North Dakota. I didn’t want to make the whole flight in one day with Yoshi, since it was her first time flying and she is a naturally scared dog, I figured it would be best to break the journey up. My big plan consisted of getting all three of my very large bags, Yoshi and her kennel out the airport, to the hotel and back again the following morning.
In eight days, I will load up my three suitcases and dog and board a plane. We will spend the night in a hotel and continue our journey the next day.
I still don’t have all the details worked out. Details like, how on EARTH do I plan to finagle three suitcases, a kennel and a dog who is terrified of her own shadow through the airport -not once, but twice? I keep saying she has no idea what she is getting into -she will go to sleep one night, expecting the next day to be the same as it has been every day of her life and will be in for a surprise of a lifetime…but really? I think her and I are in the same boat.
People keep asking if I’m excited. People also keep asking if I’m sad. As if I can only be one or the other. The truth is? I am so excited. But I am also very sad. I am a mixed bag of some serious emotion. Top that with a cold that has been kicking my butt this week and a busy schedule and well, I will be needing more than the normal amount of tissue these next few days.