I have never been good at answering questions. Questions of any kind really. One of my proudest moments was when a teacher asked me what grade I was in. And I boldly said that I was “In the 6th grade. I think.” Its been a running joke around here ever since. So now whenever someone asks me a question – I always want to follow it up with an “I think” because it just seems like I should.
I kind of assumed that when I reached this “Magic age” people would stop asking me questions. The questions were always “What grade are you in?” And a few years later “Are you in college?” and then a year or so later “Boy friend? Married?” And while its true – that Amanda got put through the ringer (being the oldest and all) I kind of blindly assumed that people would stop asking me questions when I reached…this magic age.
We went through the stages – and when Amanda got married, everyone skipped the college/grade questions with me and went straight for the punch line – so when are YOU getting married? Then the questions stopped. And I smiled blissfully – because the questions were now over. I reached the magic age. Except that I didn’t. Because now people ask me what grade Im in. And apparently, I have started all over on the question grid – only in a more condensed format, with more complicated ones tossed in for fun because when people find out that not only am I not in grade school, Im not in college, nor am I married? They kind of want to know just WHAT I am up to.
They want to know just what I do. And I suppose its only natural. I mean, I kind of still want to know what I do.
A few days ago – someone asked me what I did. And I stammered my way through saying I work in dads shop, and slyly turned the subject to Amanda, because every conversation is better when its about my sister, right? Come to think of it – it wasn’t so sly. And it was sort of out of the blue in a “What do you do?” “Oh I work in the office because I have a sister who lives in England and lets talk about her, m’kay?” sort of way. Ahem. I digress.
The thing is when people ask me what I do – I really don’t have an answer. Because my life? Is really no different than anyone elses. I don’t do this amazing life changing work. I do paper work. And I love it. But when people hear you “Do paper work” for 12+ hours a day, they start to wonder just what kind of a math freak you are. (In all honesty – I hate math, and math hates me. There is rarely any math going on over here.)
I don’t know how to answer people, because everything I do – is done by others – only ten times better. If I say “Im a photographer!” people assume Im a top of the line, quality photographer who has won awards or at very least, knows what they are doing behind the camera. But really I just enjoy taking pictures, and messing with the settings and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. See? Just like everyone else. A self proclaimed, wannabe photographer.
If I say I write – then people think I am a best seller author who has written ten books on life changing topics, and want to know what some big word means. When in all honesty – I just love writing, and sometimes can get letters to form words that eventually make sentences that ramble on, and hardly make any sense.
Im ok with what I do. Infact, I love what I do. I love spending hours at a time researching something and writing about it. I love figuring out a new technique on the camera – even if its already been discovered. I (usually) love dealing with customers and sorting money. I do what I enjoy, and enjoy what I do. But it’s the same as everyone else, so explaining what I do – when its just basic, mundane stuff that makes a simple little me happy? Is hard.
So just what do I do?
I live a life that is going by way to fast. I spend my days with people who I love one minute, and cant stand the next – my family (and pretty sure they would say the same thing about me). I spend my time writing words, crunching numbers, telling dogs no, and answering the phone. I enjoy staying up late, into the early hours on the morning – and feel like I have accomplished something when I mark something off my “list.”
I get mad, I get stressed, I get insanely happy, and love candy.
I am nothing special, don’t do anything out of the ordinary, and fill my days with silly stuff that at the end of the day – I don’t even remember. I try to prioritize things, and fail. I try to make people important, and get mad. I try and fail, and try try again. And yes, I do paper work. I write checks, make invoices, pay bills, and plan dinner. But who doesn’t?
I don’t do anything out of the ordinary – yet so many people ask. Just what do you do? And just once, I want to say “I do what I enjoy, and enjoy what I do. I live my life – just like everyone else, with a few things that make me different. Im no one special, nothing important. Im me. And Im ok with that.”