Tangled Thoughts

Warning

Christina

October 28, 2010

*May become guilty on demand*

I have a few confessions to make.

First off, I have an irrational fear of cops. Ok, I don’t. But I dislike them. Not COPS themselves, but being pulled over by a cop? Guaranteed to get my blood pressure rising in no time.

I look guilty when accused. No matter if I have even DONE anything, If you accuse me, I will blush and try to convince you that I am innocent. I swear I didn’t do it! Unless you are a cop, in which case I will probably fall to the ground as you pass by and ask which hand you would like first.

I look younger than I am. I am NOT 14 people. I am, ahem, old. I am 20. But more on that little number later.

All this combined has the ability for disaster, or laughing fits. Hopefully the latter.

****

When we were on this recent road trip, we got pulled over by a cop – because mom forgot to turn the headlights on. No. Big. Deal. Right? It wasn’t except that David was sitting in the seat beside me, having a hard time containing his laughter. Apparently my reaction was something closely related to a running criminal, he told me that if he didn’t know any better, that he would have thought I did something TERRIBLE or had a warrant out. SOMETHING. Even though I am innocent, really! When the cop asked for a drivers license, Amanda handed it to mom without skipping a beat. Insurance? Right here sir. Registration? Of course. Right away!

David said he HOPED that we didn’t do this at the border. Amanda and I exchanged a look. What was wrong with being efficient? Having all the paper work in order?

Im sure Mark the border man was MORE than stumped. Why was a 12 and 14 year old crossing HIS border? Why were they so organized with every. Single. Piece. Of information he asked for ON. DEMAND? And why oh why did they look so incredibly guilty?

****

When chaperoning the girls to camp a few months ago, we got questioned by everyone in authority as to where our chaperones were. More than once Amanda and I looked around behind us (Looking for who they were talking to? Or looking for OUR chaperones?) and then said that we were it!

We also got told by a marine that he thought we were just a group of girls on our way up to camp. Together. High school aged teens on a leisurely trip. He said he wondered why one “Teenager” was correcting another!

****

On the same trip…once we arrived at camp. There is a rule at camp that has been in place ever since we went there as kids (ha, now I feel old). No “Purpling.” Girls cant cross into the boys side of camp, and boys cant cross into the girls side. This rule was installed into our little minds since the beginning of time, and it was still in our heads when we went back this year. Even though we were technically aloud to cross, considering we were no longer campers, we still took very great caution to avoid becoming a “Purpler” and having to sit in the chair of shame. The purpler bench.

One evening we were in a hurry (who KNOWS why) to get back, and decided to take a short cut, across the boys area. A few boys hung off their cabin decks yelling “Purplers! Purplers!” I started walking faster, looking guilty as ever, while Amanda stopped. Crossed her arms and yelled “We ARENT PURPLERS! We are ADULTS! We are CHAPERONES!” One guess as to if they listened?

****

And finally, most recently, and perhaps the funniest…

Just a few days ago I was helping a customer. He was making a problem out to be bigger than it actually was, and so I waited for him to finish, then simplified it for him. He seemed taken back, and then blurted out “How old ARE you? I cant figure it out! You look about 14 but act 35!!” I blushed, and muttered that I was, infact, 20.

****

And dont even get me started on helping with the kids program, AWANA, at church…

****

Im not complaining, I think its fun. As long as you have ID and don’t mind being carded every single time you want to buy something, like say, a lighter.

****

Note: None of the above pictures are mine. They are compliments of google images.

You Capture: Autumn

Christina

7 comments

October 28, 2010

First off some fun making fall cookies with Mr. Parker.

Some berry branches, that I thought were cool – they made an appearance here for You Capture in the Summer, and here they are again, in the fall.

With a green background.

Leaves getting ready to fall…

Again with the ocean in the background.

Tree branch with some sun light, I thought made a cool picture.

These trees stay mostly green year round. Well, green and brown respectively.

And of course, some fall color.

These flowers are some bulbs that we bought in England…and planted when we got back, we thought that they werent going to get flowers this year, but they surprised us, and just as everything is turning colors and getting ready to die…they started to bloom.

This was my favorite picture out of all that I took, but I couldnt help but post a few more.

I had a lot of fun with the rain drops on them.

And the actual flower itself.

Happiness Project: Reflection

Christina

7 comments

October 26, 2010

Sunday night the weather was calm, and the lights from the airport were reflecting on the water, so I asked mom if we could stop and I could attempt to get some pictures.

Of course, none of them turned out how I wanted…

They were too blurry. I should have put zoom lens on, but didnt think of that until after we left. Oh well.

I liked the calmness of the reflection. I think I could learn a lot from it.

This picture makes me happy for a number of reasons, but mostly I just love lights reflecting on the water…and hope someday I get better at capturing it.

Also: Ive been asking everyone, ever where and have yet to come up with an answer. My camera has a little problem – when we were down south I noticed little spots showing up on the picture. I took the lens off, and cleaned the little mirror like things, and the spots went away…but there was some lint left behind from his cleaning cloth – Ive tried just about everything and cannot, for the life of me, get it completely cleaned. Anyone had this happen before? Advice?

Be still and know…

Christina

1 comment

October 25, 2010

I dont know what it is about these two pictures that I like so much. The lighting I think. Im not sure. They are both SOOC with no flash. Just natural lighting.

Ive been struggling lately, with a lot of things. Trying to decide if I should keep going with this. This blog, taking pictures, etc. Its not like there is anything in it. Just a hobby that occupies my time – or does it?

Trying to figure out what to do with my life. Or rather what God has in store for my life. Im trying to trust, but trust and me dont get along. I dont just TRUST someone/something, and even though I know, deep down, that I can and should and NEED to trust God fully, and completely…there is still that little bit in me that grasps at whatever I can to be in control. And when things spiral out – then I ask for help.

Struggling to understand. Understand things that I just. Dont. Get.

Trying to realize that my life, isnt that bad. That other people have it so much worse – and then I think – but other people have it so much better. Im trying not to be jealous, or envious, or anything like that. Im trying to be thankful…

Im struggling with things that I have heard, trying to make sense of them. Trying to put together a pattern for life, and something to follow…but none of my thoughts stick around long enough, and when I finally do get some thoughts to stick around – and think I finally have something understood – someone else beats me to the punch and sums it up so much better than I could…

Im trying not to go in a downward spiral. Im really trying…but Im struggling.

And I know…I need to look up. To find my answers not INWARD but UPWARD. And even though I know this, I dont follow it.

I just want some clarity, some common sense, some…something.

These two verses come to my mind..

“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

I need to just be still. But how am I suppose to be still in a world that is racing by…

I want to.

Christina

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October 24, 2010

Ive been thinking a lot lately. Our pastors sermons have really spoken to me. But I dont know what it all means. I cant get it all to make sense in my mind. It just goes around and around making no sense, confusing me.

But it all comes down to one thing. I want to serve Him. I want to devote my life, in its full, to Him. And I know its not much, I know my life is nothing, but I want to give it, fully, to Him.

But I dont exactly know what it means. I dont know where to go from here. I dont know what to do from here. I dont know how to get started.

Ive wondered a lot lately, if this thing, this very thing that I am trying to get away from, this little life of mine that I find a complete waste of time sometimes, is where God put me, for a reason. If this. This very place I have been put, with these problems that I find big, that really amount to nothing, are part of something…something much bigger.

I wonder if God put me here – and this is where I am. I wonder if I am suppose to learn how to serve Him here, and give my all, here. When I feel I cant. I want to explode for Him, but I am limited. By myself? I blame others, but I think it is just me. What am I not doing? What am I doing? I keep looking at others, and pointing out how my life could be better if…

If only they did this, or they did that.

But what about me? What am I doing?

There is a lot I still need to change. I am not perfect, by any means. I am just me. I have nothing to offer, but I can still serve Him, where I am, with what little I do. I can give it all to Him, and He can make something of it.

I want my life to glorify Him, and I want to be who He wants me to be. I dont need to try and shape others to be like Him, others are not my responsibility. I need to focus on what matters, on who matters. I need to focus of God, and live my life to glorify Him, in all I do.

And that? Opens so many doors. It frees me of so many things. It means tearing down my Idols, and putting God back in His rightful position of ruler in my life.

I want to start, and I want to start today. I want to start now. I want to do this. I need to do this. I want to live my life, for Him…and no one else.

Could you pray for me, please?