Tangled Thoughts

I dont know what it is about these two pictures that I like so much.  The lighting I think.  Im not sure.  They are both SOOC with no flash.  Just natural lighting.

Ive been struggling lately, with a lot of things.  Trying to decide if I should keep going with this.  This blog, taking pictures, etc.  Its not like there is anything in it.  Just a hobby that occupies my time – or does it?

Trying to figure out what to do with my life.  Or rather what God has in store for my life.  Im trying to trust, but trust and me dont get along.  I dont just TRUST someone/something, and even though I know, deep down, that I can and should and NEED to trust God fully, and completely…there is still that little bit in me that grasps at whatever I can to be in control.  And when things spiral out – then I ask for help.

Struggling to understand.  Understand things that I just.  Dont.  Get.

Trying to realize that my life, isnt that bad.  That other people have it so much worse – and then I think – but other people have it so much better.  Im trying not to be jealous, or envious, or anything like that.  Im trying to be thankful…

Im struggling with things that I have heard, trying to make sense of them.  Trying to put together a pattern for life, and something to follow…but none of my thoughts stick around long enough, and when I finally do get some thoughts to stick around – and think I finally have something understood – someone else beats me to the punch and sums it up so much better than I could…

Im trying not to go in a downward spiral.  Im really trying…but Im struggling.

And I know…I need to look up.  To find my answers not INWARD but UPWARD.  And even though I know this, I dont follow it.

I just want some clarity, some common sense, some…something.

These two verses come to my mind..

“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations,  I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

I need to just be still.  But how am I suppose to be still in a world that is racing by…