So many things that I am behind on, wait patiently for me to return.  Unanswered emails, non returned phone calls, piles of paper work, unedited photos…but this week was just so amazing.  And my only regret is that I am unable to extend it.  All good things must come to an end, and I decided that I wasn’t going to get to the end of it and have regrets of not enjoying it.  Of spending too much time “Not being able to” so something.  And so I did.

And it was awesome.

All of my fears were for nothing.  I wasn’t even able to take pictures of the actual ceremony, because I spent the entire time (except for maybe three minutes) on stage as the…maid of honor.  I think that’s what I was.  I don’t really know.  The after shoots turned out to be mostly fun, and hardly stressful.  There was no pressure.  Just fun.  And smiles.  And pure happiness.  All the way around.  The only down side was that Nik’s flash took forever (and I mean forever) to recharge itself between photos.  But other than that, it was awesome.

The day after the wedding – we met up with the girl who was the main photographer, and we took some post wedding photos.  Guns n’ Roses.  We called it.  Or, shotgun wedding.  Whichever suits you best.

It was really awesome, and so much fun.

We went to the old pulp mill, where there was nothing but old brick buildings.  And so many photo opportunities.

I havent even had time to look through them all and pick my favorite.  Or edit any.  Or anything.  But because I jut CANT resist, I will give you a sneak peek at this week:

Its hard, to explain.  The emotions of these past few months.  Of course, any post of mine that starts out with a sentence like that, is destine for my personal journal.  No on the word wide web for all to read.  These past few months, year, year and ½ even, have been a gradual elevator of things leading up to the big event that will eventually, take place, on Thursday.

The day when my sister, my big sister…my only sister, will be married.  And while I could not TELL you just how happy I am for them, it seems sort of like it’s an…abrupt halt.

Like all this time, effort, sweat, frustration, tears, happiness, sadness, and work, has been for this.  This one event.  This 20 minute ceremony that will leave my sister a married woman.

The rings?  They havent really meant anything to me.  Seeing it on my sisters hand is something that has taken some getting used to.  Seeing her fall into a mans arms.  Yea, that’s taken some getting used to as well.  Seeing her fall head over heals, madly loving this man?  That’s hard too.  And while I know…that he loves her back with the same free full pure love that only they can give and take – I still wonder.

My mom has been saying that once she is married, our relationship, my sister and I’s will change.  Its something I have been trying to grasp onto.  How?  How will our relationship change?  Up until today I have blindly believed that it wouldn’t.  Of course, I tried to tell myself that perhaps it might, and gently remind myself that I need to back away some giving them their own personal space…

But…

I don’t know what happened.  Tonight…

It really hit me.

It WILL change.

Ive known her…my whole life.  Not a day has gone by that I havent seen her.  Not one.  I have woken up every morning to my sister being in my bed or bedroom…and now, I am suppose to be grasping the idea.  The ideas like people offering them their house to stay in, after they are married…because, I mean, really?  Who gets married and comes home and sleeps in their separate rooms?  Ok, some do.  I wont name names, but I never really thought of that before…

And tonight, as we came home from a walk…my sister, her fiancée, his best friend, and of course, her best friend…I couldn’t help but realize…I am…she is…we are…changing.  It WILL be different.

And Im trying to accept that as being ok…

Tonight as we walked home in the dark, the light hearted chatter going on behind and in front of me, I suddenly realize…my sister.  Shes getting…married.  Her best friend…is also, getting married.  His best friend…plans to be married…all my friends…have someone they eventually plan to marry…

My sister…

Is getting married…

Shes going to leave.  And go.  And be gone.

And that’s ok.  Really.  I am.  I am happy.  I really really REALLY am.  I am happy for her.  I am excited, and am really not bitter…I promise.

But Im not sure how to handle this.  This new…stuff.  Of being alone.

By myself.

Without my sister.

Who will be living a million and one miles away.

I don’t know how to handle this changing, of relationships.

I dont know what to do with this lovely couple…who are part of my life…

Except wish them the very VERY best.

Categories: Life

{This was written yesterday – but I didnt have time to read it first until now!!}

This afternoon was Amandas bridal shower.  I was a little nervous, taking Nik out on his first, real, well, actual shoot.  One that other people would be involved with, and at, and watching, etc.  Plus, you know, Nik was a little bashful, going to a ladies event and all.

I don’t like…taking pictures when there are a lot of people, plus I was worried about blinding people – because Nik is notorious for blinding people.  His first attempt was mom and Amanda – and well – lets just say – it didn’t turn out.  He was on manual, and I didn’t know that – so it was blurry.  And I was frustrated with him!!

I turned the dial back to automatic and figured I would just go with that.  But FORCED myself to figure out what was wrong, and hey, it was very simple fix!

The other pictures I took didn’t turn out QUITE as well – because the lighting was really bad, and I didn’t want to use my flash – and blind people.  Or interrupt them, with you know, a flash.  Plus I didn’t really want people to KNOW I was taking pictures and a flash kind of gives that away.  So Nik and I took a few pictures – here and there – and after people left I got a little more comfortable taking some random shots, of, um, flowers!!  I know!  But I LOVE flower pictures and couldn’t pass them up!

So here are some shots from the shower –

Not the best, but I was proud of myself…for sticking it out with a different setting, even though, in all reality, it wasn’t THAT big of a deal.

Amanda and her  friend who flew all the way to China!  They have been penpals (emailpals?) since they were about 12…and this was their first time meeting in person!  As you can see – Nik was blurring just about everything!

Serving cake…Nik still blurring, and tossed in some redness just for fun…arg!

Amanda and her scone.  It was an “English” theme.

Most of the group…I was pretty happy with the coloring/lighting in this one, but realized it was a bit…cluttered…with people!!

This picture, I thought turned out really good.  We babysat this girl and her younger siblings a little while back – and she is also Amandas future flower girl!  She was is so sweet.

Ok…now, Nik, what is what the red tint??  Seriously?  Drop it!!

Time to bring out the big flash!  Notice they were looking AWAY – Nik was, er, flashing and blinding people.  But atleast he did away with the red.  That was annoying!

And the flowers…you thought I forgot, didnt you?

So that was today yesterday!  The countdown is on.

Tomorrow Today?  Dan and David come in.

Monday is going to be busy with vet appointments, court appointments, and misc preparations.

Tuesday is (most likely) the rehearsal.

Wednesday papa comes to town, if the rehearsal wasnt Tuesday, it will be this day, AWANA, and decorating.

Thursday is…the day!

So thats the week in a nut shell.  See you on the flip side (I hope!)