A few weeks ago, while checking out a grocery store, a lady who we know (from shopping at the local store for so long) was helping us. I casually asked how she was – and she pretty much burst into tears, saying that they were loosing their house. That very day. Because they could no longer afford the payments. I felt bad for her, because she was so upset.
Last night when we were at the store, she smiled at us. “I found an apartment today, girls.” She said happily. Of course, we were happy for her too! “Ive never prayed so much in my life!” she said shortly after. “I was starting to loose faith there for a while.” And then started talking about where her new place was, and everything else involved. But that stuck with me.
It got me to thinking. Because she lost her house, a house that was most likely above her means, because she couldn’t afford the payments – she was loosing faith. Faith in what? In who? I wondered for a few minutes if she meant she was simply loosing faith in life, maybe she chose the wrong word – maybe she meant she was loosing hope. Or loosing her house? I wasn’t sure. But it led me to thinking about something. About faith. About LOOSING faith. About how easy it is.
Sort of along the sames lines of peace, I started cooking up a theory.
A few months ago I wrote something similar to what I was thinking…
“The thing is sometimes I don’t have answers that I wish I did. How do you tell people about God when their baby died? I sometimes feel like I should have a sit down with God and say “Look, if you want people to come to you – you’ve got to stop with the death of innocent children. How do you expect me to tell people about you when THIS is happening!” But God knows best, and I know this, I really do. But sometimes, its just so hard to comprehend.”
“What if…” I wondered.
What if she meant she was starting to loose faith in God, over a house?
Im sure it could be done. The age old question of “If God loves me then why….” fill in the blank.
Have I lost faith over something, that really, doesn’t have anything to do with anything? And in the whole scheme of things, really doesn’t matter? Have I lost faith when God has said no? Or said yes? Or answered in a way I don’t think it should have been answered? I like to think I havent. I would much rather prefer to say that no, I may have lost hope. I may have lost something else, but never me. Never loose FAITH! I mean, that’s as basic as it comes. If I loose faith, then what, do I have?
But really. Im afraid to admit, Im sure I have. At one point or another. Lost faith.
In something stupid.
In something earthly.
In something that I have placed my faith – I am sure I have been let down.
It happens. All too easily. People (myself included) make things, items, STUFF, into their gods, and when their gods fail – somehow they think that God has given up, and they loose faith, in God! All because of a false perception.
Man.
I know I have.
Everything will fail. Everything will eventually give up. People will come and go. Circumstances will change. I will change! I will see new things, want better STUFF, anything to make me feel better – because I am a selfish, sinful human.
BUT GOD.
Is not.
GOD. Will not fail. And if I put my faith in HIM – He will NEVER fail me. And I will never have a reason, to loose my faith. I can loose a house, a pet, a friend. I can feel like I am the last person in the world, but God will still be there. And I can put my faith in Him, and KNOW that He will never leave. Even though I might. He will always, ALWAYS be there.
Its hard, but it doesnt have to be. All you have to do is release your grip on something that isnt yours anyways. And sometimes, that is the hardest thing to do. Admitting that you arent in control, even though you so desperately want to be sometimes.
Tangled Thoughts 