Earlier this week Amanda and I were having one of our…debates. The one where a question or problem led to something else that led to something else that eventually led to where we ended up which was somewhere far far away from where we started. The good and interesting thing about talking to her online – is going back and seeing how we got from one topic to the other. A lot of times it’s a dramatic change in the middle of a conversation.
But the other day we were talking about a well worn question that we kick back and forth a lot.
A lot of people say that when you become a Christian – there is that definite turning point in your life. I have heard if from the pulpit so many times that I often become scared at the thought. I know there is a change, and I know that there is a before and after…but…
Having been saved at a young age, I dont remember a time before Jesus.
I don’t have a great dramatic life changing testimony. Infact, many times I shy away from giving my “testimony” because – well, quite simply, its not big and great and its not really much. Its just…plain and simple, Ive always known I was a sinner, and that Jesus died for me. That’s the plain and simple truth that seems to get muddled up with the human behavior. I don’t have a great light shinning moment. I don’t have an earth shattering story. I was a little girl who wanted Jesus to be with me, and wanted to live with Him when I died.
I don’t really even remember the day, or how old I really was. I remember laying in bed somewhere around five years old, but I don’t remember much else.
And now, twenty plus years later, Im re-guessing things. Because I don’t have a dramatic tale of how I found Jesus.
So there we were – bartering both sides – my sister and I.
Discussing things that we have heard from various people, and known sources. Talking about opinions, debates, and the long awaited question: What IS a testimony? Do I have one? Do I need one?
I had to give mine when in Mexico, the entire day I stressed about it. What was I going to say? Hello this is my name, and I was somewhere around five years old when I asked Jesus to come into my heart. The end.
In a shortened version, I told them what I told you. I don’t HAVE a great testimony. I don’t have an interesting one, or a dramatic one. What I have is that I have known Jesus my whole life, I have known that I was a sinner since I was young and that there was nothing I could do about it, and that I needed Him to save me, from even my five year old self.
When I got done one of the leaders told me that what I had just given – was my testimony. It didn’t need to be big and dramatic, it was MINE and that was ok.
Amanda gave hers a few months ago as well while she was somewhere. When we compared notes, we had pretty much said the same thing. I don’t have a testimony, or do I?
Someone came up to her afterwards and told her something (that someone had told him) that she was now telling me.
“I never knew a time when I didnt love Jesus; and I didnt know that Jesus loved me.”
And that? Pretty much says it all.
It says sin and death. It says sinner and savior. It says me and God. It says it all. In a sentence. Its simple. Its Jesus loves me, even though I have sinned and do not deserve His love. It says because He loved me, He died for my sins to save me. And because of that I love Him. Even though He deserves so much more than just my love.