Anyone who has been reading here for any length on time, knows that I have a serious aversion to shopping. I dislike going into overly crowded stores, finding things, and paying money. None of it appeals to me. Christmas shopping only multiplies my strong dislike for shopping. Not only does it involved going into overly crowded stores, and paying way too much money – there is the slight problem that comes with trying to find something that the person in question is going to like.

When Amanda was here – shopping was fun, I would follow around in amazement as she tossed things in at random, never getting frustrated with the crowds, and never paying over the certain number she had set in her head. As a bonus, the person on the receiving end always loved her gifts. It was a win win situation. Something that I could never, and can never – recreate. My shopping episodes are limited to buying the wrong items, spending too much money, and running out of the stores because they were too crowded.

If I have a list, I do ok. So long as the store isn’t too crowded, and the items on my list are in stock. If not, it’s the perfect storm.

A recent shopping trip in London.

A recent shopping trip in London.

Lets take a step back and take a look at LAST years shopping excitement:


“This year, my Christmas spirit was HIGH. Like full tilt over the moon BUY ALL THE THINGS! Kind of high. I took advantage of it, and did some late night browsing. I ordered a few gifts, and made a list.

And then my Christmas spirit took a dive. But that was ok! Because my shopping was done. I could relax.

And then last night, as I was looking through my online purchases, I noticed something. The things I bought? Were NOT the things I thought I had bought. In fact, I really have NO idea what was going through my head at the time of purchase – because I thought I was being savvy.

And then…the mail started trickling in. Ever so slowly.

I was excited.

I ripped open the package.

And stared into the face of what was supposed to be a pajama set but instead was an…

“Oil green panel”

Now I knew that things weren’t what I thought I had bought but how does one go from pjs to a curtain panel? Closer inspection showed that what I ordered – was not sent. In its place – was a single curtain. A CURTAIN! Now I don’t know about you – but I don’t know how I was supposed to GIFT a CURTAIN! ONE panel, mind you. The product I had ordered? No longer in stock. I guess this was the closest substitute they had.”


And now, for the 2014 edition of shopping vs. me.

This year, Amanda did her best to get me excited for Christmas. She almost persuaded me to turn on the Christmas music before Thanksgiving (a yearly argument we have!) but I stood strong, and just as we finished up the day, I turned on the Christmas tunes. I will even admit – I made a purchase before Thanksgiving was even over. In the days following, I had completed a majority of my shopping (yay for online shopping!) and was feeling pretty proud of myself for having all my gifts planned, sorted, and bought before November was over.

For the first time in years, I didn’t have to pay express shipping for an item I would just return. I was looking forward to doing away with the traditional “Chasing down of the UPS man to see if there is a package for me!” And was really feeling proud of myself. Probably too proud. Because none of my packages are expected to arrive before Christmas

Last night I looked up an item that was scheduled to be here in 3-5 business days. It has been two weeks. There was no tracking information. The company told me to call the post office. The post office told me (and I quote) “Call UPS or FedEx.” Confused I asked why. Which is when they informed me that they had no information – so it must be another shipping company’s fault.

Frustrated, I called the original company again – who then told me they were sorry and would redo my order. Except. ½ the items I ordered? Were no longer in stock. The promo code I used was invalid, and there was no way to guarantee that these things would arrive in time for Christmas.

Another item I had ordered has been stuck in Washington for two weeks with no hope of it arriving when promised. In fact, the scheduled delivery date has changed two times since I purchased it.

And finally, my personal favorite – an item that appears to be lost. Traveling from Washington, to Ontario Canada, to California, to BC Canada, before arriving in Florida where it currently awaits its next big adventure.


Yoshi is happy she doesn’t have to go shopping

Shopping: 3 Me: 0

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