Tangled Thoughts

I am a firm believe in animals simply being that. Animals. Animals should not be treated better than humans, and humans should not be treated like animals. There is no comparison. But that being said…I do love me some animals. As much as I love animals, however, I try to keep what I think is a healthy perspective of animals are animals – and humans, are humans. People erase the line so easily that sometimes I worry I will forget, I guess.

That being said, again, I do love animals.

Ive toyed with the idea of writing something or not. A part of me wanted to hold out hope, and a part of me still kind of wants to. Today is Tomcat’s birthday. His 21^st birthday, to be exact. For those of you trying to do the math – I have had him since I was around three. On stupid days when things just arent going right, and I am so fed up with people – I can always count on him being there. Because he knows just how to snuggle just right.

Over the past year or so, he has slowed down. He lost most of his hearing, and eyesight, which meant that around 2am he would wake up the entire house meowing because he couldn’t hear himself, I assume.

About four or five years ago – he disappeared one night. He was sick earlier on that day, and when he disappeared he scared me. I looked high and low and couldn’t find him….until I crawled through the attic and found him hiding beneath the insulation, alone. We took him to the vets only to hear that he was in “Kidney failure” and there probably wasn’t much that could be done for him. After a few more tests – it came back that he was perfectly healthy and was just “Dehydrated.” He came home as spunky as could be.

The day before we left for our trip I was running around cleaning, and he was doing his usual meowing that drove me nuts. I picked him up, gave him a tight squeeze and muttered something into his head. He purred.

I couldn’t find him later that night, which was unusual because the past few months his routine never changed. He slept in his little bed, and wandered the floor meowing as loud as possible. I looked everywhere. Inside, outside, upstairs, downstairs. Something told me I wasn’t going to find him, but I was leaving the following day and NEEDED to find him. I had to tell him I was leaving – as I always did. Except I didn’t find him. That night, or the following morning.

The people who were watching the cats – looked for three days, and never found him. Three weeks later – there is still no sign of him. And on what would be his 21^st birthday, there are still no signs of him anywhere, except his little bed which still remains empty.

While I honestly believe that animals – are just animals, he was my little buddy. Even though there are no signs that he is gone – I think something inside me knew that night when I couldn’t find him. We had our last snuggle that day. There is no easy way to say good-bye to a good pet, a special buddy. And I guess in a way, I don’t have to.

But he was always such a good boy, that it wouldn’t be fair to atleast acknowledge just how much he meant to me.

Happy birthday my furry little friend, wherever you may be.