I went to town yesterday and had my mom drop me off while she went to a meeting.  After I finished up with the things I had to do, I bought a coffee and took off walking towards where she was…since I was alone, with just myself, I started talking…to myself…

The running commentary in my mind went something like this:

It started out simple enough, with encouraging thoughts to myself: “See Chir, this isnt so bad…were doing good…walking to town, being in town, alone…just you and coffee…”
But then I needed some extra prompting to continue on – I don’t like obstacles: “Ohhh they blocked the sidewalk, keep walking, its ok…walk here – walk there…there you go, see, no harm no fowl…”
There was some idle chat: “Ohhh hello person, didnt see you there.”
That morphed into a lengthy chat: “You know Chir, people are really going to think your crazy, talking to yourself…you need one of those blue tooth things.  I wonder if headphones have the same effect, I’ve seen people talking into them before…maybe the new fangled ones have microphones built in so it looks like your sophisticated…or helps you out atleast…hmmm”
“Oh…that looks like the neighbors van, at the dentist….E’s office…man I hate dentists….and E…well, maybe not E, but dentists…and…oh…neighbor kid, hes waving…wave Chir, thats it, hand up wave…good job…hand down now, keep walking…thats it…”
“Hello old guy…did I just say that out-loud?  I hope he didnt hear me…probably didnt, he has head phones…mmm I wonder if hes trying to be sophisticated too…talking to himself, or talking to his friend, one will never know will they.…”
“Ohhhh cop car.  Two cop car.  Keep walking, look both ways before crossing the street…yes go on by cop cars…thank you.…”
“You know chir, this is pathetic, your keeping pace behind this old guy pretty well, doesnt get more pathetic than that, does it?  Well, I suppose maybe NOT keeping up with him, yea that would be bad…wouldnt it Chir…sure would.…”
“Ok street time…cross…run…SHOOT!!!  Ok breath….breath….one street down, your safe, just walk…walk…walk…thats it…see, doing good.…”
“Ok, last street, I think….how about we make this as painless as possible…looks clear….OK NOT CLEAR.  That was NOT clear…keep walking, like you knew what you were doing, thats it, oh nice…look what you’ve managed to do.  You just made one crossing into four, and THIS time you dont have the help of a stop light…ok, one down, three to go….you should write a book – call it “Getting the most out of your street crossing experience” and write chapters like “Making one street into four” ok….we made it across all the streets.  That should have been easy, but it wasn’t.  I HATE street crossings!!!”
“Oh look.  Its mom!  Wave to…mom…whos…not…waving…back….is that mom?  Is it not?  Do I wave more?  What if it isnt mom…*hesitate* wave!!!  WAVE…MOM ITS CHIR!! THATS MOM BUT SHE DOESNT SEE ME!!  Oh…she does…”

*Collapse into car*

“How was your walk Chir?”

“Refreshing, for sure….I made lots of new friends”

And that, my friends, is a day  in my lonely mind when Ive got no one else to keep me company.

And yes, for the record, I DID answer back to myself!

**Chir is my nickname, and apparently, what I refer to myself as!

One thought on “A walk in my mind

  1. Julia says:

    I was thinking the phrase ‘a walk in the mind’, found myself reading this…it read as if I had written it myself….some of the best ‘conversations’ you can have are often those you have with yourself on an ordinary day……enjoyed very much!

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