I have so much running through my mind right now, so much I want to say, but find really impossible to even begin to touch on.
All different kinds of thoughts, decisions, choices – all piled into one big confusing mess in my mind – but there is one thing that stands out – far from everything else.
I feel like I wont do it justice to even mention it, and so I stray away, and talk about things that I know a little more about…but the one thought just keeps coming back, over and over and over and over again.
Recently I decided to take myself on a little detour, on the names of God. A few things in church sparked my interest in this subject, and I went off on a search.
I found a series of sermons by John Piper, and while I only listened to one so far, that one is still spinning around in my mind…making me realize just how inadequate I am to even SAY His name.
I have been realizing just how small I really am. How small and helpless and so very…pathetic, I as a person am. And compared to HIM.
I was walking home last night, looking at the sky – that was clear. Stars. Filling the sky. And as I looked up, and looked around me at my surroundings, I wondered a few things…“What does it matter?” And “How do people live without Christ?”
When I say what does it matter – I mean on a human earthly level…things that are running wicked in my mind – what does it matter? What does it matter if I get my drivers license? What does it matter if I excel in what *I* want? What does it matter if I wear my favorite shirt or not? What does it really matter? When it all comes down to it, nothing…NOTHING I DO…matters…EXCEPT that what I do for God. If I can glorify, and honor, and SERVE Him with what *I* do, then it matters. But outside of Him, and His will, nothing matters. It’s a subject that personally, I think gets twisted around and complicated with questions and statements like “Well if it doesn’t matter then I can do what I want” and while that is true, in a sense…it is important, so VERY important, that whatever I do, whatever YOU do…is done for HIM and HIS glory.
Anything else simply doesn’t matter. Its pointless to even pursue.
Secondly…how do people live without Christ? How? Its impossible to look around you and think – what I do matters so much. What I do, with my time and my life for me and me alone, or perhaps my best friend, both of whom will die most likely before 100 – matters. People spend their lives worried about where their assets, and money, and everything else will go when they are gone – but really? What does it matter? How much MORE it would serve them, and myself, and more importantly, GOD, if these people would spend their time wondering where their souls, where others souls, will SPEND eternity. I don’t know how people go through their life and simply don’t CARE about that!
Actually, I do. Sadly.
Many people have the wrong view of God. Many people think that because of a wrong done to them, they DESERVE better. And if God wont give them better, then certainly…they will escape hell.
In the message I listened to by John Piper – he said something along the lines of “People think God will have a hard time condemning people. When really, it will be SO EASY for God to find reason to condemn them.” He made a really good illustration about how people SAY they acknowledge Him, yet they live like He doesn’t even exist.
It makes all my thoughts and ideas, and wants, and little tizzy parties, seem so…empty. And pointless. And really just…hopeless. The only thing that matters – is God. Is Jesus. Is Christ.
Anything outside of Him…anything done outside of Him…doesn’t matter.
Tangled Thoughts 