Tangled Thoughts

I only took a few pictures for this capture, because I have been reflecting more on words, than I have pictures. And also partly because I have been busy preparing for something I cant mention just yet (but will REALLY soon!)

 

Reaching, was this weeks “You Capture.”

And while I turned the word into a cliché faster than I could say it, I couldn’t, for the life of me, think of anything to capture. I realized, however, that it was because I was, once again looking at things through the wrong perspective. I was looking for someone reaching for something. Someone, reaching something.

It was the only thing I could think of when the word reaching ran around loose in my mind. Logically, it had to be someone, someone with hands, reaching, greedily most likely, for something, that they wanted.

Im speaking of myself. And my week. Or my life, rather.

Im constantly REACHING for something that I want. Reaching for more, more, more. Bigger, better, Mine, mine, mine!

*Sigh*

Ive been giving a lot of thought, too much infact, to my “Problems” the issues in my life that I don’t like, that Im not happy with, that I want changed. The things that don’t exactly bring me happiness, or pleasure. The things that are difficult for ME to deal with…and lately, its been hitting me…Ive been realizing something, that hey, you know what – this life isn’t about me, and even if it were? These problems, these issues, these things that I don’t like, are nothing.

About a month ago, a man in our church lost his wife. She was someone who everyone knew. Who taught our Sunday school class, who was the grandma of the kids that we babysat. She has been there for as long as I can remember, and has been married for atleast 50 years, most likely more. She was always happy, smiling, encouraging, offering more to anyone that she would take for herself.

And now, shes gone.

And its hard to wrap my mind around this. Because there has been so much death here lately, its almost too much to understand. Because while it hasn’t impacted ME and MY life, while I can get up every morning, and whine about how difficult MY day was…its impacted other people, and watching other people hurt, is something I don’t like. Watching other people grieve, for someone, who was so important to them, makes me realize how good, I really DO have it.

Because while I might not appreciate the situation I am in, while I might not like some of the things my family does…I can still get up each morning, and they will still be here – even though at times I wish in my own selfish mind that they weren’t – they are. And I don’t have to think about getting through the day, because my problems arent THAT big…I can continue my life.

God has blessed me, and all I want to do is complain about what I DON’T have and what I have to deal with, because OH MY GOSH, what a hard day I had today.

Its crazy.

And when put in perspective, I really, really, really, wish I could be more grateful for what I have been given.

Earlier this week, this man came to the shop. A usually happy, cheerful, whistling man…was slowly walking in to the office, not even holding a smile…but instead, a bag. He came through the office, and pulled out some flowers, and cookies. Setting them on the desk, mom said she was going to cry, and while they hugged he said “Good, that’s all I do everyday anyways” and I realized the crackle in his voice, that has been there the past few weeks, is not a result of a cold.

But rather, the sadness, the deep grief that he is carrying…

And then I wanted to cry too.

Because while I think I have it hard, I realize I don’t. While I think I have problems I realize I don’t.

And when I think I need more, more, more…I realize that I need to instead, reach out to other people.

Reach out and give more, reach out and help more, reach out and GIVE some of what God has given me…

Just like he did this week, in the midst of his sadness, the middle of a week that he has spent crying, and rightfully so, he brought out these flowers…and every time I look at them Im given a mixture of thoughts…

Thoughts that I need to give more, thoughts that I don’t have anything tragic in my life, and I should be grateful, and thanking God, instead of whining and complaining.

Just like he did this week.